he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
