theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
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Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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