Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
