she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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