Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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