I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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