Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
