Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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