If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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