I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
