I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
