he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize