She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her facebook's as public as her vagina
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
