Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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