that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
