whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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