i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize