I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
