Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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