We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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