"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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