ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
