The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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