is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
