i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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