hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
