32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
