I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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