i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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