A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
