You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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