the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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