Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
