I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
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It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.