Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.