Can Purell be used as lube?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.