why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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