You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
