Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
