so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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