Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
