I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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