AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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