I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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