I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
