either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
