You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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