I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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