Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
