i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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