Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
PANTIES FOUND
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