Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I sprained my soul last night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
