I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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