And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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