Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
