Umm I'm too high to move.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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