What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
