Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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