We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
