I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
